Why I Like Being an Atheist

I don't believe in any gods. I'm not anti-religious, anti-Christian, or anti-God. I simply live my life without them. And that makes me very happy.

It didn't start off this way. I grew up Catholic. I believed in God because it what I was taught to believe. It was the reality that my parents gave me. But, I was a smart kid destined to forever ask "why?". I wanted to understand the Bible, God, the Catholic Church, and everything therein. But, the more I tried to understand, the less comprehensible it all became.

I'm sure you're familiar with the shaky faith questions: Why does God allow evil to exist? If Christianity is true, then why do so many other people believe in other gods? If my prayers are answered sometimes and other times not, then what's the point of praying at all? No one could answer these questions to my satisfaction. The most I could get was some vague dismissal like "the Lord works in mysterious ways". Well, if his ways are so cryptic, why did anyone bother to write a book on it?

I remember distinctly when in fifth grade Catholic school each student was to write a question to our resident priest. The next day, he would come to our class and talk to us about a select few. I was so excited when he began to read mine. "Other people in other countries believe in different gods. How do we know our god is the right one?" I held my breath in anticipation of the answer from the one person above all who could give what I desired so deeply. He continued. "The answer is: Faith." It took a moment to recover from the painful slap. He didn't know. We all could be wrong about God and how would we know? That was the moment I lost my faith. Honestly, I think I never really had faith. I never could "just believe".

So, I rebelled against religion. I went through the god-hating, religion-is-the-root-of-all-evil, ignorant-masses-who-believe-in-a-Santa-Claus-floating-up-in-the-sky phase. I'm past that now. Eventually, I settled into an understanding of reality that revolves around what I can see and reason. There are no gods in my life and there is no need for them. As I matured, I became more puzzled as to why others, seemingly as intelligent and rational as me, still believed in gods. Why hadn't they come to the same rational conclusion I did? (In case you haven't guessed, "Why?" is still the primary driving force in my life.) Among the many theories that floated through my head, one in particular stood out: it just feels right.

Human beings have a desire to be part of something and to have purpose. Religion offers all of that in a pretty package with a shiny, new bow. That's why so many religions describe where we came from and where we're going. It gives us a sense of place. I understand that. And when an authority figure gives us answers to all our deep questions, it makes us feel good and comfortable. It's hard to argue with a feeling, and even harder to rationalize one.

Some have described me as apathetic. That's true. I have a hard time feeling things. Without doubt, my emotional disposition has allowed me to break out of mainstream belief and seek my own path. Some people are just not able to do this; the emotions are just too strong. So, they continue to believe in God to satisfy their emotional needs. Religion did not satisfy any emotional need with me. It actually created negative emotions, such as confusion and insecurity. Thus, I follow the path of the rationalist.

Even though I reject the existence of gods, it would be irresponsible of me to assume that I am correct in that they do not exist. Every so often, I question myself. I try to convince myself I'm wrong and the gods - or a God - exists. But every time, I can't do it. There is nothing tangible in a religion, nothing to grip solid. Just hopes and promises. There are some good things about religion, like a moral code that some people need to behave themselves. But no person, book, or personal experience has ever convinced me that supernatural beings exist. So, I eventually spring back to reality when the nagging where's-the-evidence sinks back into my thoughts. It was this line of thinking that took me away from religion in the first place.

So here I am, living a wonderful life without religion, gods, or false hopes. I question everything and whatever stands the test stays with me. I like it this way. I feel like my mind and sense of being have purpose because I understand how things really are, not how I wish them to be. If I could make myself believe in a god for just a short time, I would thank him for allowing me to disbelieve in him, which has caused me to have such a wonderful life. But, really, I'm proud of myself for my own accomplishments.

Hank